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Monday, March 31, 2014

Interlude

There are a few more posts I want to make on anxiety; for instance, I have yet to address social anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.  But depression has a way of making me lose my focus and drive, so I will resume the anxiety series later ( a soon later I hope).  For now, I want to share a really great blog post written by Christy at Normal in Training. Earlier in the month, she wrote something about depression that really spoke to me.  I wasn't depressed at the time, but I knew it would come in handy when I was.  Indeed,  No Good Reason is a very helpful read.  I hate depression, not only for the obvious pain it entails, but for the added guilt I pile on top for feeling that way in the first place, as if I willed myself to be depressed.  Some well-meaning people really don't help the case when they ask "why are you depressed?" as if it is that simple.  As if a situation caused this and therefore it can be fixed by changing the situation.  We always want a reason for everything, right?  But some things just aren't so black and white. 

I am going to go interact with my family.  My daughters are here and I want to enjoy this time.  It's not fair that depression comes at such inconvenient times.  It's hard to fake being alright when I'm not, and my daughters are old enough to perceive that I am struggling.  But I'm going to make the best of it while they are here.  They will be leaving tomorrow, and that will create a situational depression, but I can't dwell on that now.  One day at a time, please. 

4 comments:

Lady Lilith said...

I really admire your persistence. You are trying really hard to overcome your struggles and hide it from the world. It takes a lot of guts and willpower.

Mary Kirkland said...

I am able to get on all the websites again for a while. It has been coming and going today. It's really driving me batty. lol

It's so hard to spend time with family and act happy when you don't feel that way. Sometimes I just put on a happy face and fake my way through the day...doesn't help me but it helps them.

Amy Purdy said...

Thank you, Lilith. We've spent a good bit of time outdoors in hopes that the sunlight will help me perk up. I broke down a couple of hours ago and had a good cry, but I am feeling okay for now. One of my girls had to go back to her dad's last night to help with farm work but they let my other daughter stay longer, so I am enjoying some extra time with her.

Amy Purdy said...

I'm glad your internet is working a little better for now, Mary!